office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
