I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
