now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
