They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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