Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
