dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
