Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
