Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
