I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A bitchslap is in order.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
