Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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