Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
