i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
