I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
