No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
