i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
