when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
