you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
