There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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