all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
