i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We talked him into tasing himself.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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