I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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