walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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