I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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