could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
