We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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