check it out our google latitudes are spooning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
