why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
