Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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