i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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