So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
