The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
