When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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