And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
