A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
