Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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