I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just tell him i said nine months
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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