guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
