Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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