How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
