it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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