i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
