they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
