): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
