i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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