Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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