We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
