drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
