so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
