i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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