GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
