That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
