You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
