Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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