New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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