Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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