my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
